Psychologist Kristin Neff describes self-compassion as having three parts: kindness toward yourself instead of harsh self-judgment, a sense of common humanity instead of isolation, and mindful awareness of pain instead of over-identifying with it (Neff, 2003). Notice how close that is to the Empathy movement, this is human.
In a pilot study and randomized controlled trial of an eight-week Mindful Self-Compassion program, participants reported greater self-compassion, mindfulness, and life satisfaction, and less depression, anxiety, and stress, than a waitlist group (Neff & Germer, 2013). Separately, compassion training has been associated with greater positive affect and with changes in how the brain responds to others’ suffering (Klimecki et al., 2013). These are promising findings about related programs, not proof about any single practice.
Many people worry that kindness will make them complacent. Neff’s work suggests the opposite: people who are gentle with themselves tend to find it easier, not harder, to face their mistakes. Try it for a week and see what you notice.
REAL Shift is a contemplative practice and an educational method, not a medical or psychological treatment. If you are struggling, please reach out to a qualified professional. In the U.S. you can call or text 988 at any hour.